P Phase

Apparently my life is also in a Felicia Day phase. I watched the first season of the Guild on Netflix. I should watch it on the web so they are short fun gulps instead of shoving it all in at once. I also started playing a tower defense game called Kingdom Rush on Armor Games because of her. It is mighty fun.

Felicia Day is a cool woman and she posted a link. Simple Daily Habits to Ignite Your Passions

I should not but I get mildly jealous of creative driven people like Felicia Day. She played the violin really well, acts and writes in a niche market, and goes to conventions as a Guest. My brain then smacks me with reality. I never wanted to move to LA to make my fortune. I enjoy my bass but I have never wanted to practice it enough to become really good. I might enjoy being a guest but I like not being that constrained.

I just want to be a bit more creative without doing any of the work. I actually got somewhat jealous of a fictional character in a fantasy book because she was a talented musician. The book is War for the Oaks by Emma Bull.

All right I am in a whiny mood.

To the point!

I like the suggestions in the link so I will be doing them. One of the suggestions is to blog... so I came back. I loved my phase were my muse were words that started with C. Now the theme of the blogs will start with a P. Look forward to blogs about Portland, the Present, Pets, Projects,... and private bits. No! No private bits but I got stuck. Duh! Passion!!

Any requests or suggestions for other P words?

Symphony Struggles

Hey all,
I am babysitting again. It is going really well. It is like it gets easier. The plan is to go to the library and then the playground. I am ready to go right at this moment but I think cartoons on channel 8 end in 15 minutes so I will use those minutes wisely.

Like it says in the title, I am struggling in the Symphony. I have been playing in it for 13 years (the baby cries so I will be back). My usually position was third or fourth. Position in a section cab be done in a few ways. In my past, there were auditions and people were ranked by skill. It has never formally been done that way in the Chandler Symphony Orchestra but informally. A gent named Ray and I switched back and forth since our skill levels were similiar. Well a new guy Jerry came. He took third because he comes early like really early. I had no problems the first concert. I then asked to switch up for the next one. Jerry said no.

No?

Jerry wanted to audtion. No problem. Ray wanted to as well at that point because I think both of us wanted to see how Russ would rank us. Russ did not want to do the audition way. Alright, but Jerry kept his place. He does not pass information done that Russ shares. He also just stops playing and writes lots of notes on his music. Small stuff but it started to get to me.

The other way to order a section is to rotate places. I asked Russ if he could do that. He said he would. He pulled Carl from the back and put him in front of Jerry. Russ never did it on his own. He only would do it when I asked and I never got to be second. I then asked basically if I could sit second but Russ said no. I do not know why. The lack of communication got to me. I do not knwo what to do but I think I will learn viola over the summer and switch. Or I will look for other ways to play my bass.

I also blog for the symphony. I have been struggling with it because no one cares. I have not been posting like I should. They did link the blog from the main site so I really felt like I should post every week. Well yesterday I went to the main site to find out more about the chamber orchestra and when my next concert would be. The link to my blog was gone. I looked all over but they took it done. I do not know if it was on purpose or not. It is very frustrating. I will blog more often for myself. I guess I should find out if it was on purpose or not.

I just do not know if my time with the Chandler Symphony is coming to an end. I have done it for so long that it upsets me to think that.

Babysitting

I am babysitting Brian's and Syd's kids. Kyle is around 4-5 months while Erik is 3 1/2 years old.

Kyle has been sleeping for a few hours. For a moment I envisoned he had stopped breathing and while I thought he was sleeping, he really had died in his sleep. If I had noticed his problem sooner then I could save him. I immediately ran to the living room and checked on him. I stared and saw him sucking lightly on his pacifier. Phew.

I do not know why my brain terrifes me like this but I rather it did not.

We all might go to the library. It depends on when Kyle wakes because I know I am not waking that kid. Erik has been watching TV for hours and I feel we should be doing more. I do not know what. I plan on reading the development book and thinking of ideas. I like to think that it is practice for when/if I have children.

All I know is, I do not know how Brian got stuff done. I know it gets easier as time goes by and it has not been that hard, but it is tiring. I'm glad that Kyle is such a good baby. If there was a screaming baby and a toddle freaking out because he did not want to wash his hands, then I might not be babysitting that long. Instead, they are two cute kids. Erik ate blueberries, blackberries, and an aspargus. He probably needs a nap but it is all good.

Oh right, I read Silverstein poems to Erik. He liked it but it might be too old for him. We almost watched Little Monster then a daydream popped into my head. Erik crying because he is know scared of monsters under the bed. Hmmmm, not a good idea.

I'm back!

It has been two productive months since I last blogged. I chose one word to be my theme last year.

Focus.

I like variety and have a hard time doing only a few tasks. I succeeded last year. My surgery went well. I figured out goals for the coming year.

I played in the Nutcracker again. I played better and the whole caliber of the pit orchestra was higher. We still flubbed up our last performance when the conductor tried to slow done the last act before the intermission. Some people followed. Some did not. We all struggled. We also lost some vital confidence for the rest of the performance.

I quit the Hilton. Once I left, I have been coming to terms that I should have never stayed so long. It was so draining. I never need to prove that I can stay in one job for a long time for my resume. My life does not need that. I will find jobs that like wanderers. Simple as that.

This year needs a word or phrase.

Hmmm... follow through seems lame.

As I stare at my desk, I see the junk on my keyboard and water rings on the top of the desk. Ewww, Got to clean.

Got to focus!

Okay the word is... Building!

I need to build up my self confidence. This is a new thing since usually I am so self assured but not now. I will be who I like and that is that. If people do not like it, I will find new people. I will also confront bothersome problems sooner but with tact.

Build up my health. I had an ultrasound yesterday and I have a fibroid about an inch big. This is 75% smaller than when it caused me all the problems. I believe it is the same fibroid. I plan on going back to acupuncture and playing with my diet. (And yes this upsets me greatly and I'm trying to not let it get to me).

Under the health umbrella is building up my muscles. I want to actually conquer the 100 push ups goal (but really I would be pleased with 50). I am running the Skirt chaser 5k in three weeks though at this moment I can maybe jog a mile.

Build up my funds. I should...wait...I will go out job hunting for a second server job today. I will earn bank during season or the next few months. I am also going to be babysitting on Mondays for Brian and Syd. The money could go to traveling or paying off my medical debt (if I still owe it).

Build up my flirting skills. Seriously, I have a mantra in my head. "Make eye contact. Damn it, no really, make eye contact. Now, smile. No, while making eye contact." This will hopefully lead to dating fun and interesting guys. This is not the biggest priority right now but I am getting a bit lonely.

Build up my skills set. I should be volunteering with the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS starting in February. I am doing this to see which program I should apply for in the Peace Corps. I really like the idea of the health one. Decreasing infant mortality has been correlated with lots of great things in a society like increase of standard of living and decrease in poverty levels. Also, the health volunteers get to move around more.

Alright, everyone who reads this blog is caught up.
I will most likely be posting on Mondays since I might have free moments on that day.

Break time

I said I would post everyday to celebrate having posted 100 enteries, but that obviously did not happen. Obviously, I will then do the opposite extreme. I am taking a break! I'm not making self imposed deadlines so screw it. I still plan on posting but no more pressure if I do not.

Also, working two jobs uses up a lot of time. I'm happier though. :)

Wordpress vs Blogger

I use both Wordpress and Blogger now. I use Blogger.com for my personal blogs and Word press for the Chandler Symphony blog. I feel like I have not played with either as much as I should. Wordpress has impressed me more so far. It seems a bit more user friendly and there is more content for me to learn and play with. I will do that but not this week.

This thought process started for one reason. I said I would blog everyday but forgot till late. I'm tired and wanted a quick subject. I came to blogger trying to convince myself that I could write something quick and not revising it would not be too bad (I know it really is so I will look over the last few blogs because I have been lazy for a bit). I saw the Stat button on blogger so I clicked on it. I do not remember blogger always having that function. I added my own traffic tracker and lost it when I changed my design. Wordpress displays the stats in nifty charts which I like better than blogger's though I am unsure why. I will do more research tomorrow. On the other hand, blogger let me not track my own page views which will significantly decrease traffic.

I have a question about my traffic. Why would someone from the Netherlands be curious about my 100th post or my stupid roommate? A few people from other countries have looked at my blog site. I am guessing a wrong click most of the time. Funny enough, people have looked at my Galapagos post in the past month. This whole stats tab is quite fun. I need to go back and revise older blogs.

This is my 100th blog here!

Webcomics always celebrate their hundreds and I feel like I should. I am just unsure how. I will celebrate by blogging once a day for a week. This is also because I so need to catch up on some stories. I thought about writing about my 10 year high school reunion, the election, and Halloween, but I wanted to write about wanting to write. No really, this will be a short blog about a variety of subjects.

I got a new job! I got another food and beverage job. School districts are swamped with subs so I'm postponing going that for two months. The Halloween story will fill in the details for where I got my motivation but it all boils down to the Hilton is a horrible place for me to work for. It is such a toxic place. Anyway, I got a job working at Cafe Forte - a restaurant in Old town Scottsdale.

My brother is moving in December 1st. My roommate is struggling with the fact that I gave her 30 days notice. I told her at first that she probably could stay till December 8th because that was when her apartment became available. Once she got that from me, she stopped talking to me other than polite murmurings. She ignored me and huffed about so I got angry. Also, my bro is excited to move in and have his birthday party here. That date is the 12th of December so 4 days is not enough time. When I told my roommate that she had 30 days, she told me that the earliest she could leave was the 8th. Oh, I do not think so. I told her it was in our sublease agreement that 30 days notice is all that is required. As well, she shot a gun in our house. I love playing that card because she has no argument against it. She tried again to change my mind today. No way, she is out.

Talking of my home, I felt it was too messy. My brother assured me it was not. I picked up a bit and feel better. My room reverted back to its normal mess but I will work on it.

Lastly, my dating break is over. I got tired of meeting guys. Also, life got distracting. I figured out my goals for the next five years and got a second job which seemed to fix most of the issues I was having. At the same time as I got the job, I meet a really nice guy. Who knew that listening to NPR would be a turn on? We are just hanging out so who knows if he is even interested, but he got me thinking of dating again.

Continuing goal - Practice my bass. Not just say it or write it, but actually make some noise.

My roommate is a moron

I found her on craigslist and she was not that bad in the beginning. She started to talk a lot about her boyfriend. Now, I do not want to be the kettle calling the pot black because I know I talk about boys a lot as well, but this was so inane. For example she told me that her boyfriend did not want her to come over right away because he just wanted to chill at home. She said, "But his roommates are there so it is not like he is alone. Is it me? Am I smothering him? Should I call him?" No you should not call him! Blah

She is nice but so needy. She must have attention. She used to be a stripper because she needed money (and attention?). Why did she need money? Well, her ex-boyfriend (not the one she goes on and on about) conned her out of money. It was not that hard. She lent him her credit card after they had been together for 3 months for a road trip. She was not his first con and who knows how long it would have gone on if he had not been arrested for his previous crimes.

I know that she brings bad situations upon herself. She does not seem to recognize this fact.

So... she bought a gun.

I was not scared at all... because... I was not thinking obviously. She decided to load it while I was doing dishes. She was singing, "First time I loading my new gun."

Suddenly there was a loud bang. My ears started to ring and the fire alarm goes off. I ask her calmly to turn it off.

That is right. She accidentally shot the gun in the apartment because the pawn shop told her the safety was in the lock position. It has a key and there is no way to see if it is locked. It was not.

Everything worked out. She only put holes in the walls and the ceiling. I know my upstairs neighbor and we checked out his place. There was not a bullet hole so it probably got lodged in the ceiling.

She leaves by the end of November if not sooner! Woot.

15 Games

This was stolen from Grumptator.


The rules: Don't take too long to think about it. 15 games you've played that will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. (Yeah, like I will need 15 minutes though I have periodically thought about this blog in the past week).

1. Skip Bo - the reason I am a game. My grandmother and family have been playing this game as long as I can remember.
2. Risk - a game with complicated rules. Risk rage - enough said
3. Thunder and Lighting - one of the few video games I have beaten
4. Lost Viking - three player cooperative video game where my father, brother, and I still fought over
5. Chess - I started in first grade. It was a bit sad the day I got better than my dad. I almost wish I had done tournaments. Oh I forgot Backgammon well it will get an honorary position here
6. Monopoly - I played a 6 hour game with an older friend who I thought was the coolest ever one New Year's Eve Night. We quit shortly before midnight. I have played it so many times and boring is what will probably stick with me.
5. Zombies - a rather silly game but it lead to games being banned during Government Documents party (We played too much) and it also lead me to The Gamer Society (TGS) which lead to a whole new path in my life
6. Phase 10 - a family classic that has to be played when my mom's side gets together. There have been fights.
7. Munchkin - a lame game now but boy did I play it a lot the first year of TGS. A good gateway game (interesting game different from standard games with the gateway game leading to hardcore games)
8. Settlers of Catan - another great gateway game. Sadly, it was overplayed with a group of friends when we played it like every Sunday for 6 months (for me - the group played longer). We can never go back.
9. Lunch Money - another TGS game. It is tons better when story telling is involved and apparently I started a house rule where the trump card does not work if you do not explain it no matter how lame.
10. Once Upon a Time - Story telling game! One of my favorites. This has lead to great stories like the fairy tale of the queen that gets cursed to be a deer and falls in love with a fairy. She has deer fairy hybrids (some of which are grotesque) and those end up being her unique to her husband the king. Also one time, I bored others with my Jane Austen style of play. Think - the main lady writes a letter detailing her thoughts which are. It gets sent. The gentleman writes back..."Dear lord, Shilo stop." No, I do not think so. I also have a rep of being the Destroyer. Too many plot lines - fine it was a dream or those people died. Muhhahaha
11. Culdcept - odd video game first played at a Con and then ordered online. Think Magic the Gathering meets Monopoly (but oddly it is not boring like Monopoly maybe it is that it is shorter)
12. Mario Party - the video game that started my love for social video gaming. It was introduced to me by my ex-fiancé and yes, I did get as good as him. It represents our good times
13. Dance Dance Revolution - my ex told me he was better at all games than me. I challenged him to DDR. I lost. I did not feel good about myself. Later I creamed him at Tetris, Dr. Mario (how could I forget this one!) and Dr Roboto's Mean Bean Machine game like games so he was wrong. DDR represents our relationship struggling.
14. Minesweeper - another of my ex-fiancé’s favorite. He challenged me to get as good as him. I got very close. When he broke up with me, he left the next day for a trip we had planned together. I did not. I had a week to move and be in limbo. I played this a lot. I set a 1 second record for beginner on his computer as a way for him to remember me by. This game represents the end of that relationship. I do not play it anymore.
15. GURPS - almost forgot about role playing. I do not have a real favorite because I struggle with finding groups I like to play but I have played GURPS the most. Earthdawn gets a shout out because it was the first and probably the best session I have ever had.


There are 15ish games. And to think, this was supposed to be a quick and short post. Side note, I listed the games first and then added commentary so I did follow the rules.

Distractions and Obligations

I'm extremely content right now. I have a series I am enjoying .. maybe too much. Grumpator recommended it to me and lent me the first two books in the Vorkosigan series written by Lois McCaster Bujold. I have lost sleep to this addiction. At this moment, I wrenched myself away from it to write my late update.

I also fixed my computer. Well, my brother fixed it mostly. I have not been updating my adobe reader and other programs like I should so got some infections which lead to my OS crashing. We reinstalled it and I fixed the audio driver dilemma on my own.

I'm lucky because my obligations are almost all self imposed. I'm therefore struggling on getting them done. I have been writing which is good. This blog is going to get updated. The Chandler Symphony Orchestra blog needs to be updated but the only person riding me on that issue is me. I have years of getting around the responsible part of me.

Goals. That is what is needed. The CSO blog will have a day that it is suppose to be updated. I will have applied to a school district by next Thursday. I will read other blogs and try to use I less. Lastly, my house will be more neat. That seems to be a long enough list.

One last thought, Men feel like both a distraction and an obligation. If I want kids and to work on my relationship skills, I need them. They just take time and mental energy. At this juncture, they are not a distraction.

Woot for hiking season starting!

I rode my bike to South Mountain. I am out of shape because I could not even ride my bike the whole way. I walked it when going over the 10 on steep overpass. It did remind me when I could not even ride halfway up. Last year, my body was so used up with the fibroid that I thought my bike was broken. It was not the bike. My body was not broken either, but it was a struggle.

I got to the bike rack at 10am because I cannot make myself get out there earlier. The sun beat down on my neck and my sports bar filled up with sweat. I loved it. There is something about being hot and exhausted that makes everything a bit clearer. I over think but not when I hike. My thoughts turn to, "I want to be done but I have 3 more miles... mostly uphill" or "Where did I leave that water bottle? Did I bring enough water? Okay, I can allow myself to have a sip now." There are the still the thoughts about where am I going with my life or should I call that guy, but there is no never ending loop because at some point I find myself staring at a Palo Verde tree, breathing hard, and thinking "tired".

I gave myself the goal to send in poems to 50 journals by the end of the year but I no longer need to do that. My new and vaguer goal, "Be rejected more!" Ultimately, I hope to not be rejected but I have too much fear so I will just practice putting myself out there in the career and dating field.

Now for something completely different. Prop 106 - It seems to be a way for some Arizonans to fight against the national health care bill. . The arguments for the Prop in my General Election November 2, 2010 Publicity Pamphlet were pretty weak. There was a good argument where the League of Women Voter of Arizona stated that the federal law supersedes the state constitution. This leads to some vague thoughts about the role of the federal and state government. I might even do research. I am curious to see what is going to happen with the national health care bill so I will vote No on Prop 106. What do you all think?

Rearranging Time

I'm struggling to write this blog. I wrote "I'm feeling restless and trapped." My brain then said that is a weak sentence and it is all about you. How is that going to draw others in?

Grr, I have not written anything in a week or so, maybe that is part of the struggle.

There are parts to the struggle. I drove to Prescott with my dog, Lu Dog. We hiked for like four hours. I did not do my research well enough so there were a few moments of being lost and back tracking both in the car and on foot. My mother tried to assist with finding the road for me. I snapped on her on the phone and apologized. I ended up getting help from Syd. The hike was freeing. Pine trees covered the hill at the beginning of the hike while I studied the granite cliff up high. People rock climb that. I want to do that. The trail wound up the high hill (almost like a mountain but it does not really compare to the Rockies or the Andes)and then the trail descended. Lu Dog and I followed it as the terrain turned into granite outcroppings and cacti. I forgot one of my water bottles at the trail head so we rationed more than I wanted to. By the end, I was exhausted and completely happy.

I want to go back out again. I do not know where but the traveling bug is itching at me. I can't go anywhere for too long since I have to plan it better, but the camping trip in two weeks should help.

I'm still restless. I have lived in my apartment for a year and half, and I can decorate much more. My roommate Jessica and I will hang up art and maybe rearrange the furniture. If you believe in Feng Shui that will equate to a change in my life or me reflecting the changes in my home.

One of the changes revolves around boys like most of my stories. I feel like I'm boring people with those stories. I'm also getting worn down. I have been constantly going on dates since my surgery three months ago. I'm going to take a break and study for the elections. Look for my thoughts on who and what I am going to vote for.

Hanson Concert

Some weeks ago, my friend Brian was standing by his wife Sydni. He looked at me and asked, "Do you remember when you told Sydni you would go to a Hanson concert if they ever came into town?" I looked back at him vaguely and said, "Not really, but I would go." Brian said, "Good, because I bought tickets." I responded, "What?" Sydni beamed and told me that the concert was on September 14. Okay that's cool.

It was on a Tuesday night so I had to tell my bass chair that I could not make it to rehearsal. I do not think he thought a Hanson concert was a valid enough reason but I did. I still do. I gave my word. It may have been four years ago when Sydni and I were living together but it is still valid.

The Hanson concert was fun. There was two opening bands. The first had Frankie Munez in it and Syd told me that he is friends with Hanson. The next band had a much more charismatic singer, but they need to work on their lyrics. Every song was about love and most included eyes, lips, and her. It got boring. We waited. Then Hanson came on. I enjoyed their new songs from their album Shout It Out. It had some brass parts in it and it felt like it had a bit of Motown influences. It was also just lovely to hang out with Sydni sans husband and kids.

One of the best parts of the evening though was with Sydni's three year old Erik. Sydni was getting ready and Brian was playing a computer game. I bored Brian with some dating stories. I even said quite excitedly, "Tell me what he meant, Brian! You speak man, right?" Brian just said, "Ummm...Uh..no". I was mostly joking but Brian has surprised me in the past with advice. I sat there and tapped my foot against the ground. I was bored. What to do? I then saw Erik running around. I asked, "Hey, Erik, you want put some clothes on and go outside?" Erik responded so cutely and said in a high pitched tone, "Yes".

Erik was wearing only underwear so Syd and I told him to get some pants on. He ran off. We chatted. He came back with a Rice Krispies box. I stood up and told him that was not his pants. We put the cereal back. Erik and I wandered around trying to find clothes that fit him and his shoes. I did not know the house and Erik apparently did not either. Erik dressed himself after telling me he could not do it and me telling him he could. He did.

We went out and explored the neighborhood. I spied a penny. I told Erik to run over and grab it. He did and put it in his pocket. I saw long pieces of styrofoam so Erik and I played swords. Then we went over to yellow posts and hit them a couple times. We picked up the styrofoam pieces and threw them away. It was like being a kid again. I was the leader and it was so fun to see Erik mimic me. I stomped on leaves so he did too. We stopped and looked at mud. I started to play in it so he did too. We checked out the pool where Erik greeted another kid who started to play lion or something in the grass. The kid did not respond. I told Erik that the kid was not interested but I was proud of his social skills. We shuffled our feet through dirt as we continued to travel through the houses.

Erik hid from me behind some bushes. I tried to convince him to follow the house behind the bushes but he did not want to. I then had to go back there and lead our exploration team behind the bushes. It was much easier for the three year old since he is much smaller. We then saw an overturned grocery cart. I told Erik it would be fun to crawl through, which he did. I was a bit jealous but I was not going to fit. I showed him how to climb on top and he kinda jumped off. I stepped on it and showed him how to use his knees to land properly. Erik found a stick and just wanted to play in the mud or destroy trees with it but I told him that we had to travel back for dinner. He got to keep the stick.

We climbed a tree and petted some dogs. We also tried to not touch the asphalt by walking only on the speed bumps. Erik started to get weary. I kept on saying, "We got to keep on going" or "Come on." He kept saying "Yes" in the cutest manner. He got some energy when there was a puddle which he splashed all over both of us. I did lead most of the activities but it was just so much fun to have someone willing to play silly games with.

Thanks to Sydni for the concert, Brian for a lovely dinner, and Erik for being three.

Cleaning House

I am cleaning up. I do not just mean literally cleaning up like doing dishes, shifting the kitty litter, or picking up my room. That has happened (in part to find my cell phone) but I mean more!

I was the vendor room manager for Sabo Con (an anime convention). I did not work on it very much but it was always in the back of my mind. Send emails out. Figure out when you came meet up with the Operations Director. I also felt like I had no clue what was going. I hate going back on something I said I would do but I evaluated what it brought to my life. I am not into anime and I was not excited about asking time off from work. I decided. I sent an resignation email . The operations director sent a message back like two minutes later accepting while being professional. I had sent a message a week and half earlier asking when we could meet. I never got a response. I freed up my time and mental energy!

I started prioritizing. I asked for letter of recommendations from folks so I can be a substitute. I'm working out. I'm posting my blogs by my internal deadlines. I'm dating guys. Practice does make better. I do not get as nervous flirting with new guys, and I'm getting better at recognizing when to walk away and not feel guilty about it.

I still plan on vacuuming and sweeping the floors. Soon, I will have to focus on career. I have been playing with the idea of researching teaching English other places and seeing if I could pay my medical debts and be traveling at the same time. I wanted to teach English and save money for traveling but maybe that will be year two of teaching. Traveling calls.

Time!

I do not have enough time. I feel that way but I know it is not true. I just want to say yes to social engagements, earn money, and get all my writing done. Oh right! Of course, I also need time to work out and play video games. I have to start saying no especially to myself.

I was suppose to go hiking Camelback with a friend this morning but canceled on her. I should have never said yes because I know what I want to get done. I have to apply to jobs that will make me happier both with more earning power and the expectation to use my brain more. I have two blogs now. I can skimp on this one because I do, but I need to prove to myself that I can set goals like update my personal blog weekly.

I need to leave soon to go volunteer with the Boys and Girls club. AS I write this, almost all my obligations are self imposed. That makes sense since that is what life is about. I do have to to work to pay my bills. Still, my mother would let me live with her for a while and I could ditch out on my medical bills. I won't but it is weird to feel how life has the structure that we impose on them.

Anyway, I still want to see my friends but I need to find the balance. I also have been dating a lot. There have been so many experiences. I am getting better at rejecting guys that do not fit with me and I'm also getting better at going for guys. I was dating a guy recently. He got past the second date! That is a big deal. I try not to give too much details about my dating life on this blog because I just have to think about what I would want any of the guys I am dating to read about themselves that I have not verbalized. There is also two other guys that I am interested to go on dates with and another two online I plan on contacting. Again, dating takes time so I have to figure out what to cut out. I have been trying to cut sleep and cleaning. That does not really work.

I have been saying yes a lot and I need to keep on saying yes. I just need to say yes to myself about writing, volunteering, cleaning, and so on. I will figure out my priorities and it will work out.

Mundane Mentions with a spattering of Momentous

A quick disclaimer, I like the word Momentous but it might be a bit of an over exaggeration for me to use. I checked my blogs for August to get a better sense of what I actually wrote. Apparently my computer and I were struggling. That problem is taken care of. My bro is coming over soon and we will be playing Culdcept so I will try to catch everyone up.

I'm listening to Pandora while writing this blog and shopping for car insurance. I had paid for a year subscription to Pandora and it expired in August. The commercials come on so often and it is like the same one over and over again. It is a commercial to buy "Why did I get married too?". It worked to the point that I made sure that it was a bad as it sounded. I googled it and looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes. It did not get great reviews. Should I pay another 36 dollars to listen as much as I want without commercials or should I save that 3 dollars a month? I love Pandora and easily go through the 40 hours limit a month. I will probably buying it again. I really need a second job to pay my medical bills. I can pay all my other bills with my current job but it is not enough. I do not mean just monetary wise either. My brain wants something else.

The steps that I during the summer are coming to fruition. I am a volunteer at the Boys and Girls club! Guess what? I love working with kids. I am good at it too. I started doing it to earn experience that would look good when I applied to be a substitute teacher, but I will keep on doing it because it is so much fun. There are irritating parts where a kid and I get into a minor argument about how he can communicate to me that I need to slow down. A fun moment where I told a child quite sternly that he was not to call himself dumb. I passed on my personal philosophy that there are plenty of people who will do that for you so you do not need to be one of them. He wanted me to be his substitute. So cute.

Why am I shopping for car insurance? Because I got a new car! It is a '98 Volkswagon Jetta GLX - red. A cello player in my symphony said in surprise "You got a real car!" Okay mister, my old Subaru was real if a bit worn. I found out that my car insurance was charging me too much for my old car. Not a shocker there. I told them I could get a better deal and they did not even try to compete. They charge me around 300 for 6 months and at least two places are willing to do 150-180 for the same coverage.

The cello player made his comment last Tuesday night. The Chandler Symphony Orchestra's (CSO)season is going again. Every year I am reminded how much I love playing my bass. CSO gave me a great opportunity. I am the new CSO blogger! I am the first blogger in fact. I wrote the first blog on Tuesday and I was all shaky with nerves. Here is the link. http://chandlersymphonyorchestra.wordpress.com

My brother is here so I am off. I missed last weeks update so I will write another tomorrow, but I have to apply to a school district by the end tomorrow.

Budget!

I love to play with numbers. I figured out my net worth (negative for the first time). :(

I estimated my income and expenditures for a year. I live very frugally and can live on 13,000 a year. I earn about 18,000 (net not gross) so I can save 5,000 a year. My goal is to pay off my medical debt with my fiscal year - September 2010 - August 2011. This means that I need to earn 7,000 extra. Ideally I would like to earn at least 10,000 extra so I can do some fun stuff like weekend trips.

I do not want to cut my budget back anymore. I probably could get it below 10,000 but I like driving my car, eating out once in a while, and going to a few plays a year.

There is a music library position open that pays 32,000 a year. If I could get that job, it would rock. I could easily pay off my debt and still be a server some nights and weekends to earn even more money. I doubt I will get that job so the plan is still to be a substitute. My second job would still be a server because I like the work and the money.

P.S. My computer really should be repaired by next week.

I'm struggling

It will be much better when my computer is all better. I have to replace the hard drive but then my computer will be all new except for the case and some cords.

I went on a dating spree for a few weeks and now I'm taking a break.

I sent off for my sub certification and there is another position I am interested in.

Computer is still burning up

My computer was having problems in the past. I did not update my blog because of that and so many other reasons. I ordered a new motherboard, CPU, and memory. The board and CPU are here! The memory comes tomorrow. I will fix my computer tomorrow with my bro and update again. I do not want to damage my hard drive or video card so that is the entirety of my blog.

Thursday Blog!

Wednesday is suppose to be poem day. I wrote the two past Wednesdays but not yesterday. I have hit an introvert phase. I cycle every few months or every other year between being outgoing and a hermit. My friends can do better hermit phase but right now it is so draining to meet new people.

I go to work and I come home exhausted. I might read a bit or play video games and then I sleep. I try to get one errand done a day. Yesterday I deposited a check and went grocery shopping. Today, I got fingerprinted again.

Fun enough, my favorite role playing group is getting together. We always seem to get together when I'm in an introvert phase which is great. I already know them and we met up every other week or so. It is perfect for what I can handle.

I was too tired to write a poem yesterday. I thought about writing a poem about being too tired to write a poem. I went to sleep instead.