My Passion!

Once again, I struggled with getting myself to sit down and write. I sat down and opened my book. I then read while thinking I need to write so I can sleep. I wrote that sentence and immediately wanted to write about how I did not want to brush my teeth. That is exactly what I wrote yesterday. My brain loops quite easily. It is understandable because I associate brushing my teeth with the activity I do before I sleep.

I will write! I do seem to write better at night even when my when I feel the tiredness behind my eyes. I wished I could describe that better.

Anyway, I was inspired by Give or Take's blog about her finding her passion. I have been looking for that. I have several activities I feel some passion for - music, reading, art, and video games. The two bigges are reading and art. I love going to plays and museums. I'm even thinking of trying to find a way to make money in the creative side, maybe act (doubtful), write a novel, and play in gigs. I just doubt I will make enough money to pay the bills so there will have to be a Plan B. My dram teacher said though if you have a Plan B you will do that and not act. In my case, act could stand for playing my bass or writing. I still think I will have a plan B. I enjoy those activities but I know my passion.

I did not when I started to comment on Give or Take's blog, but it just made sense when I started to type how I did not know what it was. I love to learn. I get jealous of people's knowledge. When I was playing Sims 2, I figured out that I would be a knowledge Sim. The world of theatre attracts me because it seems learning is necessary. I would have to learn new lines for new plays and new skills for different parts. Sadly, the idea of being part of a successful show that runs for years just sounds boring. Also a bit egotistical, I have attended two sessions of my acting class and I doubt I will be part of any show.

So, this seems enough to say I have written something. Next thing to add to the list, revision, an essential part of writing that I do not do when I blog. Enjoy the errors!

What I had for dinner

A nectarine
Bottled water
Almonds
1% chocolate milk - Shamrock Farms
and an organic tomato
with a sprinkling of salt
from two salt packets
provided by Sunflower Market
and paid for by
Heather.

It was delicious and exactly what I needed. Heather and I met up tonight at Extreme Bean just to talk and keep in touch. She is so inspirational. Heather wrote seven poems in the month of January. I made a goal to write 15 minutes a day starting with today though it will be more like 10 but I'm starting to think of not brushing my teeth. My bed calls so. I will brush my teeth. I'm trying to get my teeth whiter mostly because I'm pondering the idea of acting or be in the theatre world. This would mean at some point I would have to shave my legs. Hmmm...

I memorized a monologue and now need to read the play so I get a deep emotional connection. As I wrote that sentence, my face flushed. My fibroid. Really it is the Zolodex that stops my production of estrogen which leads to hot flashes, but I only take the medication because of the fibroid. February 8th I get an ultrasound! Look here for an update on my uterus situation.

My uterus makes me think of reproducing in general and that leads to men. I stopped dating the last one because he was a huge loser. I mean I already knew he lived at home as he went for a degree in drama while doing lots and lots of pot and other drugs, but he also was not that into me. He did not call me enough and he lied. Those were the deal breakers. He told me he had been tested three months after the last time he had unprotected sex. He later told me he had unprotected sex in November. It has not been three months yet. Of course, the tract marks on his arms really helped the decision as well.

My stepfather died last Tuesday and the memory service was Sunday. I'm doing really well with it. The situation was harder when he was starving to death in front of us. I do not want anyone to worry about how to treat me. Just be yourselves. I hang out with you all because I enjoy your company.

Look forward to more ramblings in the future!