My birthday party started really slow. My brother showed up at 3 but no one else did. He went to Target to get a bathing suit and I tidied up my room. I began to worry that no one would show other than family. Roy came back and people started to arrive. LuAnne is amazing and made lemon cake which rocked since I did not have a birthday cake till that moment! Sydni gave me a hideously perfect outfit to wear. It looked like an 80's dress (with shoulder pads). The bottom was solid blue and top part was different colored stripes - blue, red, green, and orange. People partied for a good two hours. My mother is the best. She let me paint her face and people compared it to the most recent Joker. It was not pretty but she laughed.
The party never got a lot of steam because I chose a bad day. Lots of people were having parties and mine had a clown theme. Two strong reasons for not as high as attendance as in the past. The party fizzled out, but three of us continued to party. We had clown make up on and needed to show the world! My bro, roommate from Craigslist (she is so fun!), and I went to a party of people my brother knew. We got some looks. Overall some rather cool people to chill with.
Also, I am in transition. I noticed that I have three friend types. The best are the reliable and amazing people. They call me. I call them. They are decent and kind. I want to hang out with them and feel they want to see me.
I have two other types that no longer work for me. There are the people that show up and call, but are rude little people. The others are people I love to hang out with but I never see unless I do the heavy lifting. I can do better. Of course, I might think that I am closer to someone than they think. There was a small incident where something nasty was said at my party that most did not hear but I did. Worst for me was it was said about some I care for. If it was said about me, I would have wonder if I did something or brushed it off. I have no tolerance though when I see someone attacking someone I care for.
There are other friend types of course - friends of friends, the friends that live really far away, mostly online friends, and so on. Also, friends start changing and drift away, while other people move in. A lot has happened this year. I had no energy to focus on what type of friendships I wanted or notice how I was changing.
About being 27, what a hard year and I appreciate all that supported me!
I have an ultrasound tomorrow and get more information about surgery and all that. Wish me luck!
2 comments:
Shilo, I'm glad you had a good party, and definitely wish you a better year ahead!
I know which category of friend I am to you. I'm not trying to be defensive or anything, but I just thought I'd throw out my own view. Sometimes it's just a matter of which activities work better with different people. It's not so much whether or not they are close to you, but more about how they feel comfortable interacting with you - or even not with you specifically, but with others.
I tend to not like going to parties where I don't know the majority of people who will be there. Otherwise, it feels like work to me. So I rarely go to parties unless I'm comfortable with who else is going. I didn't go to Jen's party either, for the same reason. :-)
I love to hang out with you, with our mutual friends, and play games or visit or go to museums or dance. I'm planning a ladies night soon, but it's been a crazy semester. Look for an email this week!
Oh Grumpator, I do love you and hanging out with you. I so appreciate all the help you have done with me on career things.
It is not just the party. I had a clown theme and did not expect all to show. The party is just where I looked around and something clicked.
I wrote that blog quickly in part because of time constraints and so I would keep the courage to publish it. I'm trying to speak up more often.
Anyway, the close or not comment was trying to explain that I knew that I was looking at my friendships differently than some of my friends would. I doubt many will notice a change because it is more of a mental thing or way of looking at the world. I look forward to getting an email and hope my schedule works with it.
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