Friday, May 28, 2010

Life in Stasis

It is the middle of Phoenix Comicon and my hands tremble as I write this blog. A lovely volunteer pointed out that I have bags under my eyes. I'm very tired. I got 6 hours two nights ago and 5 last night. I feel like I have not been to work in forever because it has been all about the convention the last three days. My brother asked to play games next week but I can't think that far in the future. It is about now.

I have felt that way for the past few months with my fibroid. I could not plan my future. Well, here is a quick update. I found a surgeon who says she can remove my fibroid laparoscopically and we are going to do that June 29th. As I wrote that sentence, I remember how I inquired about dangers of bleeding out on the table and her assuring me she is going to use Vasopressin or some drug with a similar spelling to constrict my blood vessels. Then a flash of vision, I am on a steel table unconscious - no control. I froze from the fear. I am scared.

I am also giddy because I can plan my future. I daydream about the places I will travel. I'm excited and slightly dread filled with the idea of finding a new job, but so relived to be moving on.

The theme of my life right now - moving on! I also want a successful blog so I will start reading Wil Wheaton's (fun speaker!) blog and maybe Felicia Day's. I will post about my adventures at Comicon, but here are some last words by Wil Wheaton:

"Don't be a dick."

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