Writing More

I have been writing more... just not here. I have found my ambition is returning. My life is packed but my brain is telling me to do more! I need to as always find a good balance. Work is alright though I'm bored. I have gotten even better at being a server especially the side work that I was so slow at because I disliked it so much. I'm learning some good lessons about office politics at a job that does not matter so much to me.

School is going well but I do not know how I did it in college. I know I worked less but I truly think that my being such an introvert in college meant I had time to do class work... or it was easy for me. Writing is not easy for me. I fight myself to sit down to do it and it is just a lot of work. You have to write the first draft and get ideas down. Try to find the deeper story and do more drafts! I do not even know grammar like I want to. My IT class is interesting just because I had fear about computers and really I just need patience.

Patience is what I need in the other main worries in my life right now - dating and health. I probably shared the story about the guy I'm dating (but not serious) to too many people which is amusing since I was angry about him sharing too much so I go out and share too much. I did think we were a lot alike. I had a talk to him about it and it is better. I point blanked asked him "Are you a douche? Do you like to f**k with people's emotions for fun?" He said no. I think I asked it that way because I was pushing him away. He was disrespectful but it was not horrible. It is just easier for me to be single. I will continue to date him because I need the practice. He is fun and I like him. He is just annoying and most likely not long term dating material for me, but I remembered that I was not looking for long term. At this point, I'm coming to the conclusion that I do not know what I want which is irritating because I have always prided myself on knowing myself. I did want to experience new things. Oh right, I'm also emailing other men on OkCupid but time is starting to be a factor. Dating uses up lots of time and I have other things I want to do.

Patience is a great factor in the health area. I almost jumped into surgery too fast. I'm getting a second opinion October 19th so I have to be patient but I don't want to. I only have slight back pain once in a while so I can live with it. My period started today and I'm not having massive pain in my back or abdomen so my worries are less. It is early so maybe I will get a surprise later but at this time I have less fear. Maybe I will have time to find a better job that has benefits, but since that implies I would be searching for a job, I'm unsure about that actually happening.

The friend and family front is great. Dating has made me think about my friends and family. I'm now making more time to see and hang out with people. I'm content.