Holy crap, I keep telling myself to breathe. My pre-op meeting for my surgery was today and I talked to their accounting person. There is a whole lot of not so fun things. I get to pay for and give myself an enema and douche the night before surgery. I also will probably owe about ten grand after the surgery. That is after insurance discounts and them paying 1000 of it. My plans for traveling will not be happening anytime soon. I just deeply sighed and almost cried.
I keep trying to tell myself that ten thousand is not that much. I have never bought a car or had to pay for my education with money (I paid more with time - studying and working for the University). Kids are expensive. It is starting now that is all.
I just do not want to feel stuck anymore. I stayed at my job when I should not have and I no longer want to be in Arizona. I want to experience a new place, but I will take this time to heal and grow. I will write and try to get published. I will try to figure out ways to earn money like actually starting the pet sitting job and becoming a substitute.
I'm also going into poor mood. I can no longer afford to eat out or pay for most things. I will go to the park and play. I won't go to the theater, but I will chip in for a rented movie. I will also go back to pretending I do not have a car. I will buy a bus pass and ride my bike which will make me think twice about going certain places. I will still play Powerball once a week or every other week because I can afford ten dollars a month to dream. Oh yeah, couponing here I come!
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